“李焕英”：我希望我的孩子健康快乐

《你好，李焕英》的热播，在国内掀起了一股歌颂母爱的热潮。母亲在我们的生活中扮演着极其重要的角色，她陪伴我们成长，照顾我们的起居，随着年龄增长，有些人却和母亲之间有了更多的隔阂。

除了日常生活的照顾，母亲也在人生道路上对我们起着引导的作用。她教会我们人生的道理，给我们提供了许多建议。

你妈妈给过你最好的建议是什么?作为一个成年人，你觉得这对你有好处吗?

外国友人们对此也有着自己的看法，母亲对孩子而言是重要的，也是意义重大的。让我们一起来看看吧！

“她说出了我的弱点”

网友Virali Modi很感激她的母亲。是她的母亲帮助她理解和认识到每个人的身体是不同的，每个人的伤害是不同的。

I kept crying over silly things, like the scars on my legs from an operation due to a femur fracture. I was worried that if I ever got into Bollywood (again with the self doubt) that my scars would be an issue. I was cursing the time that I got sick. I told my mom that I wish I could go back and undo everything. I was also crying because I felt guilty that my parents are living in two separate countries because of me. Do you know what she did? She let me cry. She didn't stop me, she just told me to cry as much as I want and then she'll talk to me.

我不停地为一些愚蠢的事情哭泣，比如我腿上的伤疤，是因为股骨骨折造成的。我担心如果我进入宝莱坞（再次带着自我怀疑），我的伤疤会成为一个问题。我在诅咒我生病的时间。我告诉我妈妈我希望我能回去把所有的事情都搞定。我哭也是因为我对父母因为我而生活在两个不同的国家感到内疚。你知道她做了什么吗？她让我哭了。她没有阻止我，她只是让我想哭就哭，然后她会跟我说话。

Eventually I stopped crying and my mom gave me some extremely important advice. She said, "If you compare yourself with others, you'll never be able to focus on yourself and you'll never realize how much of a good thing you actually have. You'll always be unsatisfied. Learn to focus on yourself and to block out other people. Everyone leads a different lifestyle, everyone comes from a different background, and no two people are the same. I know you're an adult now and that you realize these things. I know that you're Quora's Top Writer and people look up to you. I also know that you give advice to other people and you've given a similar kind of advice many times, so why aren't you able to take your own advice? Have some faith in yourself. Go to therapy tomorrow and truly believe that you'll walk soon, see how it goes."

最后我停止了哭泣，妈妈给了我一些非常重要的建议。她说，“如果你把自己和别人比较，你就永远无法专注于自己，你也永远不会意识到自己实际上拥有多少好东西。你总是不满意。学会关注自己，排斥别人。每个人都有不同的生活方式，每个人都有不同的背景，没有两个人是一样的。我知道你现在已经成年了，你意识到了这些。我知道你是Quora的顶尖作家，人们都很尊敬你。我也知道你给别人提建议，而且你也给过很多类似的建议，那你为什么不能接受自己的建议呢？对自己有点信心。明天去接受治疗，相信你很快就能走了，看看情况如何。”

Yes, my mother called out my weak point. I cannot take advice from myself, no matter if I give a similar kind of advice to someone else. It's a bad habit of mine and at that point in time I realized how immature I truly am. I wasn't feeling bad for those people, I was actually happy for all the patients that were showing improvement. I was just feeling jealous because I wasn't showing those kinds of improvements.

Like any child, I went to therapy today and I took my mom's advice. I stood perfectly straight without much support today! Previously, I would need to have knee locking straps on so I could stand - I stood today without their support. The only support I took was of a walker. I can definitely say that the advice my mom gave me worked and I know it'll help me in my life.

是的，我妈妈说出了我的弱点。我不能接受自己的建议，不管我给别人类似的建议。这是我的一个坏习惯，在那个时候，我意识到我是多么的不成熟。我并不为那些人感到难过，事实上我为所有表现出好转的病人感到高兴。我只是嫉妒，因为我没有表现出那种进步。

像其他孩子一样，我今天去了心理治疗，接受了妈妈的建议。我今天站得很直，没有太多的支持！以前，我需要有膝盖锁定带，这样我就可以站起来-我站在今天没有他们的支持。我唯一得到的支持是一个步行者。我可以肯定地说，我妈妈给我的建议奏效了，我知道这对我的生活有帮助。

“要表现得公正”

大多数父母是告诉孩子要做正确的事，说实话，从不作弊，永远不要做任何你以后可能会感到羞耻的事，不管他们对你做了什么，都要对每个人做好事等等。但这真的是对的吗？

网友Pandey向我们讲述了她与母亲的故事。

Till second year of my college, I was so stuck on the idealism that I had imbibed due to a convent school education, limited exposure and very restricted access to media that I, more often than not, was impractical. This goody two-shoes kind of attitude cost me a lot. When I went to college and met new people, I wanted to be good and please everyone. Many a times that meant doing stuff that put me at loss but hey, do good to all, right? Then I would be afraid of trying new things and discovering for myself what was my life going to be like. You can’t decide the principles that you will base your life upon using the traditional, conventional set of rules that parents, books and society say are right. You need to figure out for yourself, right? And for that you need to explore! Then other times people were mean, and I wouldn’t stand up to help myself. Why? Because I am a good person and good people can’t risk being categorized as rude or loud or anything else that you need to be in order to be taken seriously?

直到大学二年级，我一直坚持理想主义，由于接受了修道院学校的教育，接触的机会有限，接触媒体的机会也非常有限，所以我常常是不切实际的。这种态度花了我很多钱。当我上大学认识新朋友时，我想做个好人，取悦所有人。很多时候这意味着做一些让我不知所措的事情，但是嘿，对所有人都好，对吧？然后我会害怕尝试新事物，害怕自己发现我的生活会是什么样子。你不能用父母、书本和社会所说的一套传统的、常规的规则来决定你的生活所依据的原则。你得自己想办法，对吧？为此你需要探索！其他时候人们很刻薄，我也不会站起来帮助自己。为什么？因为我是一个好人，好人不能冒险被归类为粗鲁或大声或任何其他你需要被认真对待？

And then one day, my mother gave me the best advice of my life. She told me that most of the times, it’s less about being good and more about being just. You can be good and that will sure make you everyone’s favorite, but being just will give you peace and make you happy. If somebody’s unreasonably mean to you, stop pandering. Find justice for yourself and walk off with dignity. If a lie gets you or someone else, out of an unfortunate situation where you/he/she don’t deserve to be, then go ahead with it. Being good is easy, but being just needs so much courage. A good person won’t do wrong, but a just person won’t let wrong happen to anyone at all.

My mother asked me who I wanted to be? And suddenly I knew that I need to be just to myself and everyone else to be able to live with myself.

后来有一天，妈妈给了我一生中最好的建议。她告诉我，大多数时候，不是要表现得好，而是要表现得公正。你可以做好人，这肯定会让你成为大家的最爱，但做好人会让你平静，让你快乐。如果有人对你不合理的刻薄，停止迎合。为自己找个公道，体面地离开。如果一个谎言让你或其他人摆脱了你/他/她不配的不幸处境，那就继续吧。做好人很容易，但做好人需要很大的勇气。一个好人不会做错事，但一个公正的人不会让错误发生在任何人身上。

我妈妈问我想成为谁？我突然意识到，我需要对自己和其他人都保持沉默，才能和自己一起生活。

“确保第一次和一个特别的人在一起”

有一些父母“谈‘性’色变”，这也是中国目前性教育较为缺失的一部分原因。但有一些父母却不这么认为。

性是健康关系的重要组成部分。网友Sheri Walters的家人对性持一种正常的看法。她向我们分享了她母亲给她的一个重要建议。

My mother had always been honest about sex and her experiences as a woman in this world.

She probably didn’t need to give me this advice, but it is the best advice I received and have told friends and will tell my children the same, boy or girl. It really helped me focus my sexual energy on finding the right person than just filling a void.

I was not prude or pro absence. Seriously in HS my friends all thought I was going to be the first. I was interested in sex but instead of just looking for someone to get it over with, I was looking for a good person who made me feel safe, cared for and who I cared for back. I empowered myself with a specific choice.

我母亲对性和她作为一个女人在这个世界上的经历一直很诚实。

她可能不需要给我这个建议，但这是我收到的最好的建议，我已经告诉了朋友，也会告诉我的孩子们同样的，男孩或女孩。它真的帮助我把我的性能量集中在寻找合适的人上，而不仅仅是填补空白。

我不拘谨也不赞成缺席。说真的，我的朋友都认为我会是第一个。我对性很感兴趣，但我不只是想找一个能让我平静下来的人，而是想找一个能让我感到安全，有人照顾我，有人照顾我的人。我赋予自己一个特别的选择。

So I looked, and looked and looked. I found the right guy at 20. I wasn’t his first but that was ok with me, it was special with a special person. I am still very very grateful to him for making it a good loving experience and to myself that I waited. I literally thank myself for sticking it out.

What’s more is I saved myself tons of heartache. One night stands were never my thing, and I think it’s because to me sex was part of a healthy relationship. If the relationship wasn’t healthy, there was no sex, no more relationship…easy. My sibling choose a friend. Again a healthy relationship with a person she cared about and cared for her. It may have happened only once with him but at least it was a choice with a person with mutual trust, care and admiration.

所以我看了，看了又看。我20岁就找到了合适的人。我不是他的第一个，但这对我来说没关系，对一个特别的人来说很特别。我仍然非常感谢他让这成为一次美好的爱情经历，也非常感谢我等待的自己。我真的很感谢自己坚持了下来。

更重要的是我省去了很多心痛。一夜情从来不是我喜欢的，我想这是因为对我来说性是健康关系的一部分。如果这段关系不健康，就没有性，没有更多的关系…很简单。我的兄弟姐妹选择一个朋友。再次与一个她关心的人建立健康的关系。这种事在他身上可能只发生过一次，但至少在一个相互信任、关心和钦佩的人身上是一种选择。

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